I want to spend the whole afternoon writing, falling in love with words. A glass of iced tea, memories and the wonderful weather. I often wonder about us, about how something so right could have been so wrong.
I’m so happy with what I decided today. I felt like I was going to fall deeper than I could ever imagine and never resurface, and I so wanted to fall.
I wrote to him some months back, when I was dating the now-ex. I wrote to him, a “remember” mail. Remember us, the way we were, our blogs, our emails, our meetings that were always too short…remember that usual text every morning at 10 a.m. my time, 8:30 yours.
So then I went back to that blog, where my life began. I decided to just pick a date. And I found his only ode to me. I remember our first meeting, it was the 17th of May in 2005. I remember feeling cold on that hot summer evening. I remember us sitting on the pavement and just fading. My dear friend, who I love with all my heart, said that that was the only time “her Z” ever loved. I believe that on some days. Some days I think that love will be much MORE, when it happens, if it does.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.