Wisdom - I

When you meet someone truly good, you feel like becoming a better person. A lot of people know this. I didn't. I finally understand what people mean when they say 'he/she brings out the best in me.'

haunted with each hearing of His softly spoken words

Every tear we shed, not in sadness, but in gratitude, understanding and peace beyond it, is Him pursuing us. 

When you cry, when you fall to your knees and rise up out of it renewed - your walk with God begins there. That's when you know, that's how I knew. And there was nothing complicated about it.

Because I love you. In my dreams.

I’m dreaming the wrong dream, the searing one where things aren’t as I’d like them to be. The dream in which there are no answers, only questions. There are no endings, just a continuing fervour that won’t stop and won’t finish and won’t peak. It hurts.

I’ll go deep into the blue, where raindrops are just a harmless blur. Where they’re not cold anymore and I can just about hear them fall on the surface. I’ll go beyond the blue, where the rain stops. I’ll lose myself and think of you. I’ll tell stories, my secrets. I’ll stop hiding, pretending. 

When I resurface, icy drops on my face, tears in my eyes - I’ll even come home to you. Where doors have no locks and we sleep in reckless abandon. Where trust is complete and love is abundant. Home to you, where the air is clean and our voices are alone. Where we never give in, never give up, never let go and never let in. Where we close our minds and our hearts. Where common sense prevails. 

I’m happy in my dream, where things are just so, where we’re in a circle of continuous wanting. Continuous need. Where there is no end, no beginning, and no peak. Where we stay till it hurts. Because that is when I love you the most. 

 

It has been good, you make it better

You make my mornings and my nights. You fill my afternoons with laughter and my evenings with quiet content.  In your manic moods, I find myself. Your unrest calms me, slows me down. You teach me to be more.

For V, who never lies.

I don't know if I have a stand on liars. I don't think I like being lied to, but there are some truths I'd rather not know. And do I lie? Yes. Unfortunately, I do. Do I believe an older person, a mentor, when they say they do not? No. I believe everyone lies. The extent is different, of course. The reasons are different.
Is it okay to lie to protect? I think I believe it is. If the sole result of that lie will be protecting another person, then yes, it's okay. But when we protect, we also cause ignorance. We keep people in the dark. We can't be sure that our lie didn't cause them to take or un-take a decision. There's always that risk.
I don't hate liars. I understand them. It scares me to admit that. Makes me seem wrong. My understanding of why people lie is mostly because they are afraid. Afraid of reactions to the truth. Afraid that the truth will get them in trouble, the truth will bore an audience, the truth will make them seem dull and irrelevant. And then there are lies without reason. Compulsive lies, made up to fill silences, those I do not understand.

He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight. Psalms.