Because I love you. In my dreams.

I’m dreaming the wrong dream, the searing one where things aren’t as I’d like them to be. The dream in which there are no answers, only questions. There are no endings, just a continuing fervour that won’t stop and won’t finish and won’t peak. It hurts.

I’ll go deep into the blue, where raindrops are just a harmless blur. Where they’re not cold anymore and I can just about hear them fall on the surface. I’ll go beyond the blue, where the rain stops. I’ll lose myself and think of you. I’ll tell stories, my secrets. I’ll stop hiding, pretending. 

When I resurface, icy drops on my face, tears in my eyes - I’ll even come home to you. Where doors have no locks and we sleep in reckless abandon. Where trust is complete and love is abundant. Home to you, where the air is clean and our voices are alone. Where we never give in, never give up, never let go and never let in. Where we close our minds and our hearts. Where common sense prevails. 

I’m happy in my dream, where things are just so, where we’re in a circle of continuous wanting. Continuous need. Where there is no end, no beginning, and no peak. Where we stay till it hurts. Because that is when I love you the most.