I thought it was immaterial when she told me my fears were because of being left with a bitter taste in my mouth from the last time. I remember so well, that last time. The last time was 3 years ago and I was all alone. I had high fever and high hopes...That day, I thought I had conquered my fears...but the worst came after that...a strange quietness filled my being and an aching surounded me.
Yes, maybe she was right... my fears were born from that last time. This time was different..there was no quietness, no loneliness, no aching.. there was a burst of happiness and joy untold. There was laughter, shyness, coyness, kisses, tears, smiles, hugs, white lies, discoveries, experiences...the whole deal. This time...it was right.
Fears come to my mind now and then...but someone told me recently, not to worry.. for many fears are born of fatigue and 'loneliness' (not that kind of loneliness, just missing-him/her kind of loneliness).
And as for love, it grows with time, shrinks here and there...Its an 'everchanging-constant', so to speak.
And joy?..its still there, just like it was a year ago. I still smile at the thought of the future, albeit with some concerns.
Life is not perfect...worries and troubles make it worth living. I never want an 'easy' life.. I want to make things that arent beautiful, beautiful...